Install the intel driver upgrade utility, and let it install the latest stable driver it will find from march of this year. ( I believe it's march, but the default one it suggests anyway)
After I did this and rebooted, all the crashes were gone.
The driver my win came with came from early 2015, and on intel's site it says the exact error we all get ("stopped working and recovered") was a common problem fixed in all drivers released after april 2016: https://www.intel.com/content/www/us/en/support/graphics-drivers/000022448.html
That was the whole fix. For some reason, there was no stable release for the 8700 platform between april 2016 and march 2017, only two beta drivers. Those probably included the fix, but obviously GPD (or any other company) is not going to install beta drivers on end-user hardware by default.
Why intel waited 11 months with fixing this bug for the 8700? god knows. Does explain why users of totally different devices with the same soc report the same problem, though.
But it works. Follow the instructions there and the hangs should be gone.